My Shortest Blog Ever!

The shortest blog ever, has been triggered by reading an absolute load of utter gobshite.

(That was the original post… the rest came in various edits)

Perhaps I should explain!

I’m feeling proper ranty, so bear with me…

There are knobheads who read stuff that is, unbeknown to them, already out in the world and well known. They read it for the first time and get all excited. Shortly after that and a considerable amount of beer – while chatting to the usual self reinforcing dickwipes – they have an epiphany.

They believe they are enlightened, like Sid sat under a tree.

In a fog of near-Buddha amazingness, they redefine words, to now mean, only what their amazing idea means. Despite this, a few minutes on Google would easily demonstrate universal acceptance that the idea is actually something that’s already got lots of words. Half-inched, from people who actually know their stuff – and have written lots of excellent shit about the stuff they know – these buggers turn it all into PowerPoint Plagiarisation Performance Art. They read out the slides verbatim, in front of a crowd lulled into passivity, while psychologically, roasting their own nuts over their own blazing amazingness.

I don’t think Locutus ever said this but it is the sentiment I’m attempting to coney: “we are the Borg. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.”

Straight after posting I thought, I may need to add some blather and if you’re reading this, any and all equally curmudgeonly contributions you may wish to put forward, will be gracefully accepted… and will be absorbed into our own!

It’s not the philosophy of the shitty document that upsets me, it’s the shameless self-aggrandising verbiage, pirouetting across a vividly transparent soap box, in a wholly degenerate welly full of nonsense!

Sorry, I need a drink and my friend who has a great idea for a company called: The Big Slap. In short, for a small fee, you can order a slap, for someone who really deserves it. Nothing too vicious, just a big bloke who knocks the door, delivers a firm one up the side of the head and then hands over a small card that explains why they deserved it. It’s a real money spinner and I’ve already got several friends, with a list.

I’ve not read this book yet (and it’s definitely not the one I’m ranting about), I just absolutely love the title. Certainly spend some time learning from what has gone before, but don’t pretend that you, have come up with something profound just out of the top of your head. Build on what you find by all means, but don’t steal it, don’t rename it and certainly don’t pretend it’s all just about you!

Rule 2 is: upon the shoulders of giants!

Rule 1 is: by the way, don’t be a dick!


Ok my friend, that was fast. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t learn from the past. I’m attempting to – despite the grumpiness – convey the importance of not underestimating it, and certainly not pretending you magically invented it. Thanks for the Artistic metaphor…

Plato’s Cave

Ok Ok!

A day of two later: “what the hell is plato’s cave”!

It’s like they’ve never ever heard of Google and as a result, I’ve received personal abuse, wholeheartedly deserved 🤣. So before any Classics numpties try to correct me, you should already know that this is a metaphor and therefore, open to interpretation!

Imagine, waking as a baby, facing the back wall of a shallow cave. Being brought up and cared for, but left to grow up facing the cave wall. Behind you is a small wholesome fire, lighting up the cave and casting shadows in front of you. How would you explain your world?

Big things, smalls things, stinging flickers and a solid dark abyss, blah blah! If you could only see the wall of the cave filled with shadows, you would develop an entire culture and deeply inspired explanations for your world. They’d be very real to you, but absolutely useless in the real world. I’ve got a blog on Managerial Cargo Cult about half way through!

My job involves helping people strapped to the wall, to try and understand what it’s like outside. But they love the wall. They defend it and resist all rational explanation, all the way up to the moment I show them their Job Description! “That’s not what I do for a living”, they say. The source of my rant, is a bunch of wall lickers from a completely different industry, trying to tell me how to do my job, where I live, outside the cave. Breath relax!

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